"dark lipstick makes you look intimidating"
good. stay the hell away from me.
Kate Winslet goes in to hug Matthew for his Oscar.
He feels a sharp pain in his stomach, warmth leaving his body replaced with the cold of metal. He can’t even look down, but he knows what happened
Kate smiles while holding him, and leans in, and with a mix of a hiss and a whisper says:
"DiCaprio sends his regards."
no i’m not gonna lend you my pencil because if i lend you my pencil then you’ll want my calculator and then you’ll want austria and czechoslovakia and then you’ll end up invading poland and i will not have that shit
[lawyer voice] the prosecution makes a compelling argument, but have you considered this *puts middle finger up*
if you were a twin in ancient rome they would name the firstborn and then name the secondborn after the firstborn
if your older twin’s name was geminus, your name would be anti-geminus
that is the equivalent of naming your children steve and not steve
Today is Copernicus’s 541th birthday. You may remember Copernicus as the man who said “Hey, what if the Earth went around the sun?” To which the Catholic Church replied “Hey, what if we set you on fire?”
I’m quite pleased with this.
Rapping this out loud in my empty classroom like swag.
WALK INTO THE CLUB LIKE WADDUP I AM A BIG SCOT
I’M SO PUMPED ABOUT SOME VISION THAT THE WITCHES GOT
I WILL BE THANE, SO SAYS THE PROPHECY
THAT PEOPLE LIKE “DAMN, MACBETH DESERVES GLORY”